Surviving at UNZA

They say life is what you make it, but the ups and downs of the University of Zambia make you up. It is simple! UNZA builds and breaks. It is dominated by energetic youngsters anyway, what do you expect? Enjoy your youth is the name of the game. But even matures are often victims.
However, students at the institution face different ups and downs. Male students (monks) have their challenges that are rare among the female folk, preferably called momas. Monks often fall prey to many deviant behaviours of sporadic nature. When it comes to love matters, most of the monks fear to date the momas for they believe they are ‘gold diggers.’ They would rather hook a cheap babe from the nearby compounds or low class clubs. Mahela in Kalingalinga compound is one the frequented areas for a cheaper catch. But even those could be a hard target when being broke becomes the true definition of the monks. In such instances, sharing expenses to get a catch of the day is way to go.
The monks can put their little bulks together and try their luck on any stray catch on their way. Sometimes a lady is shared by three or more guys since the bulks to hook her are sourced together. Absurd yeah, but its one way to go when the sex surge reigns? The lady may not even get the money sometimes. The monks may just vanish, leaving her in the room. The other monk would come as the owner of the room and dismiss her.
Under age girls have also fallen prey to the monk-dom surviving strategy. It is worse to them because they go through life long ordeal. The law often fails to apply with them, as victims would not identify the rooms they had been taken. In many instances friends’ rooms are used for security reasons.
Fighting over who goes for the catch first is a common thing among the ‘monks’ hooking circus. Everyone wants to go first when the lady is still energetic. The one who contributed more often fight to lead. The lady is entertained with few amateur boxing tactics during this period. Some monks give up in the process. But some resist to the end. They would rather go last, provided they have taken part in the ‘touch and go game.’
What about masturbation? Exclusion may be? Wait a minute! Some monks call it “the cheapest and non-risky act.” What’s the argument? You don’t pay anybody and you don’t worry about these globalised infections. Taking a stroll into the ‘monks’ toilets would prove something to such anti-Viagra acts. Some typographic reads, “looking for the cheapest and safest sexual urge relax? Try masturbation. Benefits are many. It might be the cheapest and safest way. Trying it may be worthy something.
Many mature students take it the simpler way. They settle on cleaners commonly known as UNZA maid among the monks and momas. It’s all easy to clinch! Just tell the maid you have clothes to wash. Immediately she comes, the story changes. Introducing the maid to the topic is not any issue among the matures. Most of them are married, and they know how to play the cards. Some monks find it ironic to settle on maids for fear of embarrassment in case they are in company of the momas who come for academic help as maids often take things for granted. Maids don’t take it as one way-off, they think it’s all day long thing.
You may think momas are angels. They are smart in their way. With them, they time table things. They know whom to see when, and who provides what. They need a lot of things, and one man may not meet their needs. A man may have the bucks, but may not meet their academic challenges. They end up having a chain of donors or land lords for each need. Even those who claim they are principled are swept by the whirlwinds of the campus demon. Good girls become bad at campus. It’s wild!
Some landlords are used for air time or immaculate cell phone of the day. Others cough few bucks for epoch shoppings in expensive boutiques in the city. They are hot-city babes you know. They must look cool…simply laka. It’s a camp, all should go the campus way. Temporal!
Landlords who feel they have what it takes give it a try. It’s often ‘big’ men, with fat pocket and accounts. Some of such men are specifically for outings every Friday by the momas. The landlords pack their famous vehicles by the ladies’ hostels to take their pick. They often pack at the October crib (hostel) referred to October Airport by campus tenants (monks). Friday is the best day to judge a man by their rack (car). It’s like a showcase. These tycoons don’t drive witless racks; they have to look funky-delicious. It costs a tidy packet, but it’s the way to go with campus babes.
Few monks try to throw their dice on these babes especially freshers (first years). But their relationships fizzle-out immediately the freshers get attuned to campus lackadaisical game. This makes the monks violently sick, but what can they do? They are half naked fakirs (no cash). They can’t manage clothes that breathe out life nor a slap-up buffet by Arcades. The monks merely watch the cars whizzing passing them in the trance of lovable dreamers.
Some momas however have something to get from the monks. They thus spare them time to taste the cod-wallops of love the landlords groove with. Monks often think they are in heavenly sent love, but merely for school work. They die-hard monks crack their heads riffle through the dust chocking books in the library under the momas’ daft love commands. The lame romance makes the monks feel they are the momas’ soul-mates, but mere errand boys. To help them get distinctions on silver platters. Those monks who don’t want to be conduits never give it a try.
There’s no free lunch in Zambia, momas don’t get landlords’ goodies the ease way always. Some accept to have their nude photos posted on the internet for few dollars if not pounds. The brave ones go for sex with pets. The commonly used pets are dogs. Owners of the pets set cameras for pictures as the act goes on. The pictures are then sold to pornography website owners for big bucks. The momas get a very small portion of that bling-bling. It matters less to some momas what they are told to do by the landlords, who knows they did what, when, where, with who? It’s their business. Although the thought of it may send off a train of anger and hollowed hatred within some people, it’s one way to go at campus. It’s temporal, it will come to pass. Serious life will start when that time comes.
These aren’t the only types of students around campus. There are those who claim they are real monks. These they take offence talking to momas. Even greeting them is an issue. They don’t cross roads with momas. If a moma is coming their way, some would rather divert or go back where they came from. The only word they have for a moma is an insult. These monks package the insults so nicely that their rhythm of them is like a rap tune. It’s all about creativity anyway. They are good. They take great pleasure in the insults and momas swear to them (hate them). These monks have a real flow of insults in a measured tread and witless way. They are simply a daft of charismatic nonsense. Greeting each other is often by a gift of an insult- just an introduction. Lecturers or friends are identified by an insult. They are full of satire.
The ruins (old residence) are the real jungle of these monks’ talks. They never mind, since there are no ladies around them. They can say anything in any way, no one will look down on them, and their fellow monks can be. They are never prisoners of any monk.

At UNZA it takes muscles, but the strong survive.